By Dr. Israel Galindo, Columbia Theological Seminary
Principles can sound “anti-Christian” and counter-intuitive at first pass. We are taught that relationship is at the heart of what it means to be Christian and at the center of what it means to be “in community.”
We learn that love, patience, and longsuffering are paramount Christian virtues. But the point here is that a self-differentiated leader holds well-articulated guiding beliefs and values that allow them to discern the difference between moving toward a life goal (a life calling or vision) and being enmeshed and held back by those who prefer homeostasis.
The leader often has to make choices based on what is best for the system as a whole rather than what is convenient or best for individuals in the system.
The critical leadership function of providing a vision for the system means that clergy often must commit to the principles and values that lead toward realizing a vision, or the integrity of the mission, over the desires or needs of specific individuals in the system.
Of course, the undifferentiated cannot tolerate distance or appreciate when someone is moving toward their own goals and dreams. For them, it will feel like abandonment, betrayal, and callousness, often resulting in reactivity like sabotage or seduction.
Self-differentiation is all about functioning.
One manifestation of the extent to which one functions as self-differentiated is how well one can separate feeling from thinking. I recently consulted with a usually steady and effective staff person who found herself stuck on a particular issue.
In this case, she knew the right thing to do and could quote the company guidelines needed to direct her action, yet she was second-guessing herself.
When she called me to think through the issue, she had triangled two people in different offices in her organization (anxiety spawns triangles), reviewed the company guidelines several times, and called a person in a different company to double-check legal regulations.
Despite all that, she still felt stuck. After working through the issue, she gained enough
insight to see how her emotions kept trumping her cognition (actually, in this instance, it was about how someone else’s emotions and anxiety were feeding her anxiety and feelings). Despite knowing what she needed to do, she was stuck and unable to follow through.
This situation highlights how important it is to hold clearly articulated principles. A clearly articulated principle can be a stay against confusion at the moment when decisiveness and action are needed.
Amid anxiety, when cognition becomes challenging, recalling the principles that must guide action can keep one from getting stuck.
Here are examples of principles that can be of help when one needs to decide on their feet (these are mine; you’ll need to come up with your own):
If you have to choose between convenience and doing the right thing, do the right thing.
If you have to choose between someone’s happiness and doing the ethical thing, do the ethical thing.
If you must choose between your values and a relationship, choose your values.
If you have to choose between what is expedient and what is right, do the right thing.
If you have to choose between what someone wants and what is best for the system, choose what is best for the system.
What principles guide your actions in times of challenge?
Adapted from Perspectives on Congregational Leadership: Applying Systems Thinking for Effective Leadership.
Israel Galindo is Associate Dean for Lifelong Learning at Columbia Theological Seminary. He directs the Pastoral Excellence Programs of the Center for Lifelong Learning.
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